What to do about my MIL!

How is that for a title?

I don't know how you all handle you MIL's but I have to be completely forward and honest with mine. Although she does not always return the favor. She has been alone in the house since my FIL died in October 2001. He pretty much kept her in line and would be VERY upset to see how selfish and "poor me" she has become. She has a martyr complex so she would rather be in pain because that would somehow make her a better person in other peoples eyes.

My MIL is in her early 70's (she just had a birthday last week). She has recently started having health issues. She has herniated discs in her back and it is looking like she has coronary cardic disease. This would not be a surprise to us has ALL of her siblings have had strokes. She is the youngest of 13.

So, I called her last night to see how she was doing and to see if she had gotten the results from her last blood test. She said the results showed abnormally high and she wasn't sure if it was because of the arthritus or if something was wrong with her heart. Well, I looked it up. Something is wrong with her heart! Shocker right?!

Apparently last week when my SIL and her kiddos were visiting, she was reading to the kids and looked at a page and couldn't read what was on the page. She said she knew every word but she couldn't get her brain to work. She did not say anything to my SIL because she did not want her to "worry". WHAT?! Basically she is having "mini" strokes. Nice eh? But I don't want to worry anyone!

One of my DH's cousins called her yesterday and asked her why her kids weren't taking care of her. Why her kids had not gotten her in to see a real doctor and why she had not seen a back doctor yet? On and on and on..... EXCUSE ME?! Ok, not that this is any of her business but when MIL does not tell us that something is going on, how do we know?! I plainly told her this - "how do we know when you don't tell us?" "Why is it our fault that you are stubborn and won't tell anyone when something is wrong?" "Well, if she can get you to go to the doctor and she can get you in to see doctors faster than have at it baby." YES - I said that to her point blank. Her response, "I know, I know!" Gggggrrrrrr, if you know, why don't you do something about it?!

Three of the four kids are at their end and don't know what to do. The fourth one is so involved with herself that she does not care unless she needs money then she knows where to go. But that is another story for another post!

So, what do we do? She has said more than once that she would be happy to die. Yeah, that makes EVERYONE feel all warm and fuzzy inside! We are frustrated and really don't know how to get through to her. She has said over and over that she does not want to have to live in a nursing home but that is were she is headed.

I spent the day at her house today to see for myself how she was really doing. She did great all day and really only has mobility problems when she goes from sitting to standing. She did get another med for her pain but only because I told her I would call her doctor if she didn't. My SIL is going to go with her to her next appointment on Thursday. Don't get me started on her "doctor" aka nurse practioner, who can't get all they blood they need all at once but have her continually return for "one more test". I am hoping that my SIL will take care of that on Thursday. I am all for going into a prompt care and having them do it all - which was exactly what I was going to do today if ANYTHING came up.

So, there you have it. My life will be revolving around my MIL for awhile. Please pray for her! Her name is Merrielle (Merrie for short). And, yes, if you haven't already guessed, she can be stubborn! But aren't we all?!

Hugs to all my blogging buddies!

Jeanette